Merindu

Dulu,
Pernah ku ketuk gerbang itu
Mencoba berdiri
Diam menatap
Ku coba berkali kali
Hanya angin yang menjawab

Pernah,
Kita bersama
Menatap rembulan
Menghitung bintang
Berdua menikmati dingin malam

Kau telah memilih
Tak lagi bersamaku
Untuk saling bertatap saat terbangun
Untuk berbisik saat hujan
Bahkan untuk berdua di bawah purnama

Aku merindu..
Biarlah.. agar ini bisa mengenang..
Kita..

Tian Loves Bulan

When the rain comes,

I try to smell the water.

The smell hits my mind and my heart.

Seeing at the blue sky.

Enjoying the sun down on the west.

The wind blows romantically.

I still remember all.

It's the time when Tian is falling in love.

The rain smiles at Tian's face.

Tian is a bad liar. 

He can't hide how he loves Bulan.

Tian is so funny. 

His eyes tell how his love to Bulan.

Tian is so shy.

He is so shy when Bulan says that his eyes are cute.

Love sends logic into empty mind.

One plus one is not two.

For him, one plus one is forever.

Tian loves Bulan.

Hug deeply from far

The rain falls heavily

Coming in the midnight

Saying hello to sleeping world

Erasing the footprint of my past

The coldness hits my bone

Making me tremble

I ask the universe about love.

The answer is you.

I ask the universe about longing 

It says you.

I ask the universe about future.

It shows you.

I ask the universe about dream.

I am dreaming of you.

I ask the sky to show who I am.

The moon smiles to me.

It is all about you.

It is all about you in the sky.

It is about you, Cinta.

I love you.

Hug deeply from far. 

4 Baris Rindu

Menatap centang biru

Rindu tak bisa menahan buru-buru

Merayap diantara bintang-bintang

Melukis dirimu di kanvas rindu

It's all about you

I have seen million stars, 

and you are the brightest one.

I have listened to million songs, 

and you are the most melodius.

I have read million novels,

and you are the best one to read.

I have spoken to many people,

and you are the one who makes me numb.

I have been a liar million times,

and my eyes can't lie to you.

I have seen many beautiful eyes, 

and you have the most beautiful eyes.

I have million poems,

and you are the title for all my poems.

Tiba tiba rindu

Menatap centang biru.

Rindu tak bisa menahan buru-buru.

Merayap di antara bintang-bintang.

Melukis dirimu di kanvas rindu.

5 minutes to ponder

5 minutes , I look at your photoes.

I can say nothing.

5 minutes, I look at your smiles.

I can smile, too.

5 minutes, I remember you in my past.

I remember when yiu smiled and called me, "Tian, mau ke mana?"

5 minutes, I look at your face.

I cannot lie I love you so much.

5 minutes , I look at you from behind.

I wanna cry, but I hold it.

My heart just says "I am grateful to be with you."

"I am grateful Allah sends you to me."

I love you, Bulan.

Sebuah ilusi

Pagi tetap datang dan pergi
Petang pun demikian
Aku seperti statis menjadi bagiannya
Aku yang terus bertanya
Di mana , kenapa , siapa dan bahkan apa

Entah apa
Dunia itu datang
Semua hal seakan bisa terjadi dengan mudah
Bahkan kepedihan yang harusnya tak seperti itu
Aku merasa bahagia di dalamnya
Tapi semua tiba-tiba tak tersentuh
Hanya sebuah ilusi
Dalam khayal
Dalam angan
Kerjapan sekali mataku membuat semua nyata
Aku sadar
Aku sendiri
Aku tak mau sendiri
Aku tak mau
Saat terbangun dari ilusi itu

Bukan hanya kekasih
Tapi sahabat pula
Aku ingin berbagi cerita
Bukan di alam ilusi
Tapi di nyataku
Dan engkaulah
Tapi sadarkah engkau
Aku berharap engkau
Temani aku di tiap nafas dan kerjapan mata
Dan aku berharap
Itu engkau bukan yang lain

Supra 2000

I can say nothing when you have gone. You came to our life when my daddy was fighting to have a new motorcycle. He really loved you. We all really loved you. You have helped us so much. You have accompanied us so much. I know we never talk each other, but you have seen many stories in our life. You have seen how I was fighting in many parts of life as well. 

"Hey human,"says the motor cycle.

"You leave me now." I answer.

"Don't cry. You are a man. You have to be strong. "

" I know it. " I answer and take a deep breath. 

"I know that I am really memorable for you and your family."

"Yeah. You have seen many stories in my life. Even, you have seen me crying."

"Yes, that's true. But I know it is your process. You have grown up well. You have changed your mind. You have learnt many moral values in your life. You are ready to step on next part."

"Yeah. That's true. Thanks."  I answer.

"Have a nice day, Tian." 

"Have nice day too, Supra 2000. Be nice in new place. We love you."
 

Menanti Shubuh di Ujung Malam

Malam ini, aku benar-benar tidak bisa tidur. Ada rasa khawatir, grogi, bingung dan bahagia. Besok adalah waktu yang ditentukan untuk pertemuan dua keluarga. Keluargaku dan keluarga calon istriku. Kami sudah sepakat bahwa pertemuan akan dilaksanakan pagi di hari Sabtu, 27 November 2021.

Kemarin malam, aku kehilangan rasa kantukku setelah aku bekerja seharian. Aku mencoba mengulang segala kegilaan yang ada. Tentu kegilaan itu berisi segala kebodohan dan kekhilafan yang mungkin aku baru sadar saat ini.

Tentu, rasa syukur menjadi bagian awal semua ini karena Allah masih mengijinkan aku untuk jatuh cinta. Esok adalah jawaban doa dan ikhtiar ku selama setahun. Esok adalah hasil bujukanku dan rayuanku kepada Allah.

Begitu banyak orang yang datang silih berganti mulai aku belajar di tingkat SMP, SMA, hingga kuliah di Jember dan Malang. Ribuan purnama telah ku lalui dengan rasa tolol dan kebodohan. Dulu, aku sering menyesal melihat segala kebodohan tindakanku. Sifat kekanak-kanakan yang menghiasi masa sekolahku, ketidakmampuan berdiri di atas kaki sendiri, wawasan yang sempit, dan rasa takut yang menghiasi alam pikiranku. 

Sudah waktunya semua buku itu ditutup. Sudah waktunya aku lebih sering menertawakan diri yang dulu. Ada seorang perempuan yang aku harus jaga hatinya. 

Adzan shubuh sudah kurang beberapa menit. Aku harus menutup tulisan kali ini.

"Welcome to my life , Bulan. Let me be your best man."

When adzan shubuh comes

 I have heard this voice many times

Always be thankful when it knocks my ears

Time flies fast

I hope I am growing

Erasing all stupidness

No idea how to do it

Except answering this voice

We need to talk a lot

I am done trying to be a God

You need to tell me the way

The way to live better

When I close my eyes

I see my self

Asking one thing

'How fix you?'

I am happy

You still allow me to fall in love

Hopefully, it is the start

To write a new chapter

To open that gate

I am ready to give a title on it

A lovely family

Now, I will answer your adzan, the most beautiful voice